Sales People BEWARE

Once more I am in awe of the gall of the sales person.  You know the one.  The one who calls and says, “Hi there, is xxxx(the executive’s first names like they’ve been bestest of buddies since birth) available?”  They’ve already called three times refusing to leave any information with the admin, because it is beneath them.  The boss, the executive in question, has no idea who they are.  AND when, I the admin, has the audacity to point this out, they back pedal saying, “I’ll just send XXXX and email. He’ll remember me then.”

REEEEAAAAALLLY?

Really people?  Are you serious?  I know that you want to talk to the top of the food chain.  But to be perfectly frank the top of the food chain’s assistant is about ready to serve you up tartar to their boss.

Let’s go over the rules again:

1. When wanting to engage an executive of any company, ALWAYS make nice with the admin.
2. If the admin says they’ll take a message and pass it on because that is the way things are done.  IT IS!
3. DO NOT seek to go around, over, under, or through the admin, for all roads lead back to the admin before they go to the executive.  And while you’re wasting all that time, the admin is preparing to demolish you.

If sale representatives can follow the above mentioned rules, this admin wouldn’t have to post such warnings.

The warning has been posted.

Give A Gal A Bone

Admin Gal feels like a dog with a bone and ten toys, guarding her stash.

I walk a fine line with my resources so that the business needs may be met by the employees in her care while working with the consultants that are in the midst of the company transition.

Frankly I’m exhausted!

Help me do the math.  200 employees, 5 functioning conference rooms, 20-30 meetings on any given day.  Add to this volatile mix, consultants who are doing data transfers who require quiet places to hold hour plus long conference calls at indeterminate times.  The math doesn’t work!

There are no guarantees that I can get the consultants a conference room, so they are in cubes conducting these calls on speakerphone.  Things are tense already.

I’d say give the Admin Gal a bone, but right now I’m guarding my stash and won’t come out of my hole.

So, giving me another bone to guard might not be a great idea when I’m ready to snap.

The Air is Filled With Music

Songs fill the air as unattended cell phones ring forlornly for their owners.  Pieces of songs from Alicia Keyes, Black Eye Peas, Metallica, Gershwin filter across the floor.  Then the annoying message alarms that range from Beep, Blat, Honk, Clash and Boom.

Admin Gal admits that she likes a relatively quiet workplace.  Not silence, just everyone doing their job. If someone is listening to music, that’s what ear buds are for.  This need to abandon a cell phone on the desk and leave it off vibrate is just plain inconsiderate of others in the work place.

Yes, we live in the age of unilateral communications.  Be considerate, keep you cell phone with you so the rest of us don’t have to listen to people try to get a hold of you.

How Rude!

Earning an income is a simple equation:

Work x Application = Income

This isn’t rocket science (unless of course you are a rocket scientist, then it’s a whole other ball of wax).

Admin Gal has an ax to grind with Sales People.

Admin Gal gets the fact that sales people need to make a living.  If they are respectful of her, she will do what she can to get them to the right people to open a dialog.  No, sales people do NOT need to speak to the top of the totem pole at the first swing.  Let me get you to the correct person.

DO NOT call incessantly hoping, beyond hope, to catch Admin Gal’s boss on the phone when she is ‘off duty’.  It isn’t going to happen.

A – Admin Gal’s boss won’t pick up a number he doesn’t recognize.

B – Breathing heavy then hanging up is just plain RUDE.

C – Just do what Admin Gal has asked you to do.

Well-Being

Admin Gal’s current employer is in the process of several large initiatives.  One of the larger being the move into a new building.  Admin Gal’s division is not slated to move down into the new building until other initiatives have run their courses.

This being said, there is a miasma of concern and defeat that has settled over the division.  Facilities seems to have abandoned us for the luxuries of the new facilities.

While Admin Gal’s Division has been assured that we have not been forgotten, IT related tasks ordered have taken much longer complete. Admin Gal has had to be resourceful in getting things completed.

Admin Gal was brought to task today by someone regarding a telephone wire running across a cubicle.  Admin Gal acknowledges the Health and Safety issues of the problem.  But her gripe is the following.  This has been a problem for 3 1/2 weeks.  The cube inhabitant has not followed up with Admin Gal to let her know that the problem is not fixed.

Instead, when cube inhabitant FINALLY lets Admin Gal know, Admin Gal is threatened with a cessation of work because the cube inhabitant will disconnect her phone and cease to use the tool until the wire is no longer a threat to her well-being.

Never mind that Admin Gal spent 20 minutes she didn’t have to duct taping the telephone line to the floor.  A task that is not hers to do. Admin Gal scoffs at such a notion.  Her philosophy is ‘Find A Way!’. Makes life easier.

Never mind the cube inhabitant showed not one wit of gratitude.

Never mind in the entire time that the problem existed the cube inhabitant did NOTHING to find a solution for the problem herself.  It wasn’t her job.

Never mind the cube inhabitant decided to feature Admin Gal as the villain an email to her supervisors about the company Health and Safety issues.

What the cube inhabitant doesn’t realize that Admin Gal had already documented the entire incident with the cube inhabitant’s boss’s boss.  As in the email the cube inhabitant had spun her version of the truth to look good.

For Admin Gal’s well-being, she will cease all interaction with this cube inhabitant.

Modern Communication Methods

I have ‘sues. Big, red, floppy clown ‘sues with modern day communications methods.  We tweet, text, IM, email but we seldom seem to pick up the phone for some human contact before we fire off some form of electronic communication.

Now, don’t get me wrong.  Sometimes it is the only way to get to a person is to drop an email or an IM.  But it shouldn’t be the only way.  I seem to be surrounded by people who are hooked on their crackberries and iPhone (disclaimer: I own an iPhone) as a way to keep in touch without interaction.  They rather type a thousand characters than 7 digits on the telephone for a simple conversation. 

As human beings, we take a lot of our cues from interaction.  We deduce how a person is doing through body language, tone of voice or facial expression.  In the electronic world we have none of that.  The tone of a text, tweet or email can easily misconstrued unless there is a intimate familiarity with the sender or recipient. 

While the advent of modern communication methods is cleaner than messenger pigeons, we lose a lot in translation.

Oh NO He Didn’t

Gentle Reader, here is an authentic conversation had during Admin Gal’s very hectic busy day.  Admin Gal would like to point out the numerous egregious errors of this sales person.

Admin Gal: “Thank you for calling XXXXX.  How may I help you?”

India Sales Guy: “Hello, I’m looking for the CIO of your company XXXXXX? Can you direct me you him?”

Admin Gal: “I’m sorry we have no XXXXX in the company directory.”

India Sales Guy: “Can you tell me who the CIO is?” (Strike #1)

Admin Gal: “No”

India Sales Guy: “Why not?”

Admin Gal: “Did your even research my company?”

India Sales Guy: “No. Does that matter?” (Strike #2)

Admin Gal (completely flummoxed by the lack of preparedness and sheer lack of survival skills of this sales person): “Of course it matters, I’m not paid to do your job.  Please research my company.”

The intrepid Admin Gall then ends the call, annoyed but already on to other things.

15 minutes later, the phone rings.  Admin Gal is unable to answer the phone because she has someone at her cubicle.  She picks up the call she let go to voice mail after her visitors left.

India Sales Guy: “I’ve done my research, the CIO is XXXXX.”  CLICK (Strike #3)

Admin Gal stares at her telephone in disbelief.

Another 15 minutes, the phone rings again.  Admin Gal picks up.

Admin Gal: “Thank you for calling XXXX. How may I help you?”

India Sales Guy: “I’ve done my research, the CIO is XXXXX.” CLICK

India Sales Guy STILL got the CIO name wrong, called Admin Gal back THREE times internationally in order to prove himself right.

Could India Sales Guy prove his childishness anymore.  All she needed was a face with  the fingers wiggling in the ears and the tongue sticking out.

However, Admin Gal did get his company name.

Who has the last laugh?

Sales Professionals

Everyday, I am inundated with sales pitches for various widgets, dowickies, and thingamabobs that are guaranteed to save the company, better the work environment, cure the common cold, and even make gold out of paperclips.  Yes, the world is their oyster, if I’d only put them in contact with the right person in my organization.

No, I will not put you in contact with my boss. That’s why they pay me the big bucks! 

Please don’t think that I’m deaf if you are in a call center and you represent yourself as a director of sales of anything.  I’m not stupid.

A note to the sales professional.  Do your research.  Go to the web site, look around. I’m not going to do your job for you.

I get the best and the worst on my end of the telephone.  For every ten annoying calls, I get a gem that makes me grateful for those moments. 

But as to the rest?  Fie on them!  I liken them to an infestation of rodents that are invading my workspace. Over, under, and around they attack I must be ever vigilant.

Top Ten Reasons I will NOT Own a Blackberry or ANY Device of Its Ilk

1. The keys are only useful for a Lilliputian.
2. The calendar sync is moody, unpredictable and spiteful
3. Emails get lost, only to show up hours, days, and weeks later.
4. Answering email while at the dinner table is just wrong.
5. People can NOT walk a straight line and text while using a Blackberry.
6. Blackberry users think we really don’t know they are on the golf course.
7. evryn frgts bsc englh & grmr sklz once hkd on the crkbry
8. A vibrating Blackberry on a desk sounds like a demented swarm of hornets.
9. People do NOT look more important with a crackberry stuck to their ear.
10. Using the Blackberry while on the toilet is not considered efficient or socially acceptable.

The Voice

I am a terrifying person.

With the sound of my sweet dulcet tones, I stun telephone people speechless and they hang-up their phones without uttering a word. Plants wither and decompose. Famine strikes and entire economies crumble.

This is a power that must be used wisely and with great care. I wouldn’t want to accidentally stun the wrong person. Hmmmm let’s say, My Boss.

I have to give people credit for their persistence. Come on people, I’m paid to answer my boss’ telephone. He doesn’t pick-up numbers he doesn’t recognize. I get that privilege.

No matter how many times you call, he won’t pick up! Talk to me and you might, just might have a snowball’s chance of making an impression.

Otherwise, I will continue to wield my weapon of mass destruction. My voice.